Trans and Intersex People Are Not Going Back there is no “back” to go to.
This essay was originally written a while back and published before I had to exit Substack the first time. I changed the title because of who is in danger right now. Not the L, not the G, not the B, not the NB, and not the A. It is the T and I that are in serious danger of losing our lives. Those of us who rely on medical interventions to maintain our health, those of us who have lived as ourselves for a very long time. There is no going back without drastic effects on our physical and mental health, as well as our safety. Those of us who have to listen to family and friends saying that to help us would be an “undue burden” and that we should “go it alone” are in a human and civil rights crisis.
I am fortunate I have a set of parents who would never leave me in the dust like that, but many of my friends do not. It is a deadly time. To many of you this is an abstract thought. You don’t actually see what our demise might look like, nor do you play attention to the fact that we are literally being chased to the cliff of humanity and shoved off the edge.
We are drowning.
You can choose to help us or you can choose to be mentioned in our eulogies and obituaries as those who abandoned us, because yes, if I die in the wake of The Trump Regime Genocide, the world will know who contributed to it. My descendants will know and they will speak of it until the day the light of humanity finally is extinguished.
_____
Whenever I see the term “In the context of the rising Christofascist ideology in this country,” I think to myself about the many nights I spent in my boyhood with my pals sneaking out into the back roads, watching those tall pine crosses lighting up the clear night sky; ghosts dancing amongst the flames.
Saturday night cross burning to Sunday morning sermons, complete with snakes and tongues.
It was a place, a very long time ago, a distant memory of neighborhood kids dancing in the woods, lighting matches to flame to leaves to fairies to dust to goodbyes. Of first kisses and tender touches of the humanity of childhood because we just laughed and loved until we were forced to separate corners of pink and blue, no room for white in the center.
Pink
Or
Blue
Childhood gives way to pink or blue. That girl in the dungarees and the awesome snazzy bamboo fishing pole you met at your grampa’s, well, son she’s no longer allowed to play, her dungarees traded in for a perfectly pressed pinafore uniform complete with lace-topped socks and shiny patent Mary Jane’s.
And you, well you become a man.
Whatever that means.
30 years later you find yourself telling your children you are separating which means you are on the brink of divorce and have chosen the long, slow, suffering road out, massaging the guilt and shame you feel from failing The American Dream.
You failed it. Yes, sir and ma’am, you failed that dream hardcore. But with all that guilt and shame floating in front of those rosy pink-colored glasses you knew you had to blame something, but not yourselves, for the drastic failure of living up to expectations that you would never meet.
So you chose the one group you knew you could use as a scapegoat for your failures against an impossible system that would never sustain itself this many years post-colonization, on the other side of the truth that capitalism just isn’t a fan favorite anymore.
Neither is transphobia.
Yeah, I know, I’ve chosen to hone in on one aspect of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, that indelible T that sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle, just ripe for the picking off and harvesting all the juicy goodness for a vote, but not ripe enough to protect and nurture.
Except that is where most of you, I don’t care what side of the aisle you favor, mess up.
Ya done fucked up, son.
Because there isn’t a single person in this country who has not been touched in some way by a member of our community. We are not created, we are born, and we are born as rapid a rate as any other human being. We are born into straight families, we are born into queer families, we even arrive in the form of guardianship and foster care. Some of us even begin as “eggs” and we make that inevitable journey that may see us passing through non-binary nook or lesbian landing.
Human beings evolve and explore, that is literally what we were made to do. We are created as complex creatures.
Do none of you read your holy books?
Those same holy books they were thumping and bumping, fires blazing from pine wood crosses, hoods fresh peaked in the pale moonlight.
But now that moonlight overlooks rows and rows of freshly manicured lawns, perfectly proportioned brick homes, white picket fences, and a dog barking in the distance.
No, we aren’t going back, as a matter of fact, we have just begun moving forward.
“Hey, Donnie, over here! What do you think of the lawn?”
“Honey!”
“Yes, dear?”
“Where should I put the PRIDE flag?”
“I don’t know, where do you think, Donnie boy?
There was a time we saw great strides in Queer and Trans rights. And then we “pushed too far” with both sides of the aisle because we insisted those who were outside of their understanding receive equity and be recognized as human. This unfortunately has bled into our communities.
This is why we see the capitulation not only from the Democrats but even within our own ranks of leadership.
“If we just appease…”
And what?
Be less visible?
Be less public?
If some of us were less public, we’d be mole people.
We are fucking up as well, my siblings. Now is not the time to shrink or give in to fear. We have already moved into every facet of public life. We already stand shoulder to shoulder with each other. Why should we let any side of the aisle stop us from doing what we were meant to do as human beings, which is to grow in our kindness towards others, evolve in our adaptations to variations that will continue to present, and seek to understand a bit more about the complex and nuanced world we live in.
Stagnation is what happens in a vacuum, the vacuum that Democrats somehow are getting sucked into, that ugly red vacuum you see in every single damn Target ad.
I know you know.
We don’t live in vacuums, our communities are vast and expansive and we are brilliant in every corner of technology, art, finance, travel, real estate, clergy, and so much more.
Just keep being vast and expansive and brilliant.
And while you are at it, take those brilliant minds of yours to your Representatives' office, email, mailbox, and telephone to loudly say:
WE WILL NOT BE GOING BACK on TWO-SPIRIT, TRANSGENDER, OR INTERSEX HUMANITY OR LEGAL RIGHTS AND PROTECTIONS
THERE IS A PRICE TO PAY FOR ABANDONING THE TRANSGENDER AND INTERSEX PILLAR OF THE 2SLGBTQIA+ BECAUSE TRANSGENDER AND INTERSEX PEOPLE TOUCH EVERY ASPECT OF MODERN LIFE AS THE CHANCES ARE YOU KNOW OR ARE RELATED TO A TRANSGENDER PERSON IS HIGH
TWO-SPIRIT, TRANSGENDER, AND INTERSEX PEOPLE EXIST AND WE ARE A VITAL PART OF THE ECONOMY AS WE ARE IN EVERY FACET OF LIFE PRIVATE AND PUBLIC SECTOR
Finally, let me leave you with this:
“I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.” - Audre Lorde, New Year's Day